I remember being seven-years-old when I was first faced with the horror of staying at a boy's house. My parents had left me and my brother with our neighbour (who had two sons in my class) whilst they were away for the evening.
When I spoke to my mum on the phone and she told me I might have to stay the night there because they were delayed, I nearly cried. I specifically remember not being able to get my head round staying at a boy's house. I had images of dirty socks and underwear all over the carpets and food hidden underneath their beds with spiders that would crawl out in the middle of the night and onto my face. Luckily we didn't end up staying there, but at that moment I remember thinking that I would never stay at a boy's house ever in my life. I couldn't risk the spiders on my face thing and in that moment I was confident that I would never want to anyway.
But fast-forward 14 years, skip past the ages of 15-19 when we delighted in the prospect of staying at a boyfriend's house because it was so new and grown-up and will-he-make-me-breakfast-in-bed, and I've realised, we had it right when we were seven. And why? Here we have it, the five reasons why staying at a boy's house (boyfriend or otherwise...) is a very trying task.
1. Toilet Roll - It had to be on this list didn't it? Don't they know we need it every time we have a wee?! It's almost predictable to stay at a lad's house and know for sure that when you go for a wee, there will be no loo roll, just twenty cardboard holders. Sigh.
2. Showering - Showering at a boy's house is painful. And when I say painful, I refer to the torture of trying to get a brush through your hair after using 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner. Or worse, having no conditioner at all.
3. Food - There are two food options in the typical lad's kitchen. Either he's being a classic boy, which means he can eat whatever he wants, whenever he wants (aka fridge and cupboard full of chocolate, chips, full-fat milk, burgers and beer) OR he's having some sort of odd, pre-Ibiza lad's detox week which includes the gym everyday and a fridge that consists of no carbs, spinach, lean ham and skimmed milk. Oh, and a grumpy boyfriend as a result! Fabulous. What happened to a happy medium?
4. Forgetting something - If the boy lives with a house full of other boys, this is far more annoying because there is no way you will find a substitute to whatever you've forgotten. With so many things to remember - like toilet roll, shampoo and conditioner and food (see above)...it's no wonder we forget the simple (but essential) things such as make-up wipes, face creams etc. Equally annoying is leaving something there - will you ever see your Bobbi Brown bronzer again? Probably not.
5. Midnight Snacking - Men can get away with eating more than women. So we have our dinner and try not to give into temptation a few hours later. It's one reason why we try not to jam pack our cupboards with snacks. But come midnight when your fella suggests peanut butter on five pieces of toast, or twenty chocolate digestives with that full fat milk you spotted in the fridge, or even a casual pizza takeaway, temptation can become a little too much.
I wonder what they hate about staying at our houses? xoxoxo
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